June 2010
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FOLLOW ! FOLLOW ! FOLLOW !
But I don’t know what to write ! I’ve been thinking about so much and been doing so much but when it comes down to it, I just can’t bring myself to write anything :/ Inspiration ! Where are you ?!
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You know those times when you hear the cutest, sweetest love song, or see a couple out in public or watch a movie about romance? Well I’m not sure which is worse, going thorugh all those events and having someone unobtainable in mind, or having no one in mind at all.. Either way its just a lonely, miserable expercience !
Thinking about it, there was a time when I still had feelings for this boy. I was pretty sure he had 100% moved on from me. Everytime I heard a love song come on the radio or my IPod my thoughts would imediately turn to him and my heart would sink knowing that what we had was entirely gone. Everytime I saw a couple holding hands in public I’d think of him, and every romance movie I saw, every romance novel I read reminded me of him. It was honestly the most dreadful thing ever. Being reminded of the one person who gives you those butterflies and remembering all posibilities of ever being with him were gone.. Eventually time went on and I did get over him.
What I now realize is that with no special someone in mind, no face to match with the lovey-dovey-ness of everything it might even be a bit more dreadful and lonely. I no longer have any of those “special feelings” for anyone and the feeling is quite lonely. When I hear a love song theres no one who comes to mind. When I see a couple or a romance movie there is absolutely no one I think of besides the fact that I have no one.
I honestly don ‘t know which is worse.. having that someone in mind but knowing there cant be anything there; or having no one at all..