There’s no masking it or disguising it. I miss you by my side. I miss the look you would give me, as If I was all that mattered. I wish I could feel your arms around me again, and your lips pressed against mine. The way your touch would linger after you’d walked away. Even the way you smelt when you pulled me close. The coolness of your breath, light on my lips, and the warmth of your cheek beside mine. The back massages you would give me, and the way you ran your hands through my hair. Your laugh was so contagious and the sound of your voice made my heart skip a beat.
If I were to say I took a risk on you is a matter of opinion. If I gave you my heart or not is still unclear to even myself, but I do know you hurt it. And I don’t think I love you enough to give you that chance again. Someone once told me that you should give your heart to someone you think is worth being hurt over. Someone you’re willing to risk the pain and heartbreak. Someone who’s willing to do the exact same thing with their own heart. Because that’s what the act of love is. It’s giving each other your heart and taking the risk together, because no matter what happens, you know it was all worth it. And if it truly is love then it is worth it.
The expression “love is a battlefield” is one most of us have heard and that’s the truth. And just like a battlefield we stop in the middle of it all and wonder. “Is this a battle worth fighting?” and the answer, if it’s truly love, is yes. It’s always worth the battle no matter the cost. If you come up with the answer “no” then really what are you fighting for? I don’t think I can carry on this battle for you any longer. I don’t think you’re worth the heartache and pain a second time, or even the first time to be frank. The way you made me feel was something special. Something great. But nothing at all unique. Any charmer or smooth talker could have done what you did, but you made me believe you were something more. Something to hold on to. And as of right now, I’m still not sure how true that is. Please, don’t think I’m only hating on you, or putting you down for my benefit.
The truth is, you were a great guy. Kind hearted and sweet. But I guess you weren’t everything I saw you to be. Clearly I don’t know you as well as I thought, or as well as I hoped. You seem unsure of yourself and what you want. It almost seems you’re still trying to find out who you are even though you try to pull off that you know exactly who you are. You’re still just a boy. Not a man, not even close. And don’t take that as an insult. I’m not saying I’m anything better than just a little girl. But you have to accept that yourself and realize, you don’t know everything, you’re not a man, and you don’t have control.
You told me you still care about me and like me more than you can say. So why did you let me go? I honestly don’t think I will fully understand why you did it. And there’s no way I’ll ever really be able to know. I don’t plan on going out of my way to figure it out but I can’t help but ponder the thought every so often.
This is another reason I can’t see myself giving you my heart in the future, no matter how far. I just don’t see why I would give my heart back to someone who already returned it once before. I don’t know how I could hold on to someone who already let go. I don’t know how I could pick up a flame that already burned me once.
Sure everyone deserves a second chance. And of course, if you let the one you love go and they come back to you then it’s truly worth it. Maybe this isn’t love at all, because I don’t want to come back. I just can’t do that to myself. I don’t think I can take the risk again. I don’t think you could either. You just think you can…
“I don’t pretend to know what love is for everyone,
but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone,
and still wanting to be with them more than any other person,
love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself,
including the things you might be ashamed of,
love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone,
but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.”—unknown
“well then he wasn’t the one sara, you gotta wait and talk for a long time and figure this boy out and then choose whether this boy is worth getting hurt by, if you guys are willing to give each other your hearts… becasue when you do your heart is vulnerable thats why you have to choose if he is worth your time.
so if he does hurt you, you can say it was worth your love….”—a really good friend
“Love, of course, is a battlefield. and just like a battlefield we stop in the middle of it all and ask, is this all really worth fighting for? If it is love, then its always worth fighting for.”—Sara Montoya ;)